CarCar and Spence,
If words were able to describe what I feel: Everything that I have endured up until this very moment in my life was for you. The mistakes, the hurt, even the absence…, was for you. The mistakes that your mother had to make just to be here at this very moment. I know you don’t know what it cost me, but I hope someday you will. And at that moment of realization, I hope you know that your mother loves you very much. For an eternity at that. And that my life is a piece of art that was created specifically for you. At this very moment as I type this out on the keys, tears filled with every emotion are streaming down my cheeks onto my pajamas. Just as the Sun rises and sets each day, my love for you is constant.
They say that time heals all wounds. But they also say that time is an illusion. The the past, the present, and the future are all happening simultaneously. That by changing the present, you’re really changing the past. And if that’s the case, that’s the reason why I’m working on myself in the present, so that I may be able to change the past for you to create a better path. This is all for you. I give you my word that I will NOT fail. I’m picturing myself as Marty McFly from ‘Back to the Future’ right about now.
Because you are a part of me, I hope that in my healing that it heals those coordinates within you as well, so you never have to bear the same crosses that I had to. That whatever was lost would be returned seven-fold and then some. I hope the Universe always looks out for you and that if anyone ever hurts you that they will forever stub their pinky toe every time they turn a corner. Sweet Pea, You’re the apple of my eye. Love you to the moon and back.
Mom.
P.S. – I put our song below 🙂
