It’s been said that the highest vibration is authenticity. Authenticity vibrates on a higher frequency than Love. When we are fully vibrating in our authenticity is where we find our superpower, our divine purpose in life. When I started my journey to self-discovery over a year or so ago, I was just beginning to understand this concept. As I began to transform into a more authentic vibration it seemed like my life began to slowly fall apart. I lost friends and even some family. I lost my peace of mind and even became physically sick. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically I was at an all time low. The small group of people that had once supported me were now chastising me about my life and even gaslighting me about the life decisions I started to make.
Writing about this makes me think of the last “Matrix” movie, “Matrix Resurrections”. When Tiffany finally remembered who she really was, is when her life took a turn. She started to realize she was actually Trinity and saw the oppressive, parasitic nature of the matrix aka the world we live in. She didn’t care that she was going to get crucified, she just wanted out of the matrix and to connect with her authentic self. She left her “Chad” of a husband in the dust and fought through all the agents that tried to “put her back in the box” as I call it. This is when she fully came into her power.
I liken my journey to self-discovery to that movie. If anyone can relate to Trinity, I guess I can. I can resonate with Tiffany aka “Trinity” as having a ‘Chad’ as a husband and feeling that void inside. As I started to make changes to my life due to coming to the realization that everything had been a lie up until this point, the more I felt I was being crucified for doing so. Everywhere I turned for help, a door slammed in my face. As I stated above, the people who once supported me were now crucifying me. It was almost as if this was some video game, and all the agents were out to get me since I decided to exit the box.
I can remember the night I had gotten off the phone with my dad after he told me if I didn’t do what he wanted me to that he wasn’t going to speak to me anymore. I was in the middle of a huge life change, that included my youngest son, and I needed help. I lost my mother when I was younger, and he was the only parent I had. So, I thought that my dad would surely help.
I was wrong.
This was a turning point for me. I realized that I would be alone in this huge life shift. That the person that I was becoming had to leave the old life behind. Even if it was family. I had to be crucified in order to be born anew.
There were so many other instances during this shift that I recall being crucified for because I was becoming more authentic. And it was all worth it.
As I look back, I realize that it all happened to propel me even further into my journey of self-discovery, of becoming my authentic self. If you’ve ever listened to Dolores Cannon, she talks about “back drop” people. I now realize that these people in my life were just backdrop characters cast in my story to guide me.
Another story that comes to mind is the crucifixion of Yeshua, and all that he had to go through. Being spit on, feeling forsaken by his father, and eventually dying on a tree to be resurrected three days later. All the pain he went through was worth it as he was resurrected better than ever.
Over a year later, I realized that this is the hero’s journey. A process one must go through to be forged into something greater than they could ever imagine. All the pain I endured over the course of my life had led me here. In this process I had felt so weak but towards the end I realized that I had the courage to be crucified. And not many can say that, just ask Yeshua.
